Tentacle Magic
by Rinne
Summary: Wandering tentacles was somehow much worse than wandering old lady hands. COMPLETE


Title: Tentacle Magic

Author: rinkle

Rating: PG-13

For: starrylizard

Spoiler Warnings: 3.06 Red Sky at Morning, set after

Author's Notes: Thank you to starrylizard for the beta.

Words: wet, tentacles, girly scream

Word count: 1030

Disclaimer: Own nothing, not being paid.

Summary: Wandering tentacles was somehow much worse than wandering old lady hands.

This had to go down as the most uncomfortable hunt they'd ever undertaken. It even trumped Gert and her wandering hands. Wandering tentacles was somehow much much worse than wandering old lady hands.

"Errrgh." Sam grunted as he tried to get his knife back off the tentacle that had so kindly removed it from his grasp and simultaneously avoid the other tentacle that was trying to inch down the back of his shirt. Water dripped down his back into the waistband of his jeans. They were already sopping wet and clinging to his skin, adding to his discomfort. About the only good thing that could be said about that was that it stopped any inquisitive tentacles from exploring the bare skin of his lower anatomy. He slipped slightly in the mud and steadied himself on one of the oh-so-helpful appendages as a rather girly scream erupted from the other side of the giant squid-like creature.

"You okay, Dean?"

He briefly got a finger on the knife before it was raised about two feet above his head.

"Course I'm okay, why wouldn't I be? Nothing like doing the tango with a very grabby partner."

Sam sniggered briefly before jumping for the knife. He was rather unceremoniously yanked back down by the ankle before he even got near it.

"Woah, dude! I think that's illegal in all fifty states. Particularly without dinner and a _lot_ of alcohol."

Sam would have sniggered again, but that would risk getting a mouthful of mud and whatever the squid was oozing. It had taken him down hard, slamming him into the earth with the force of an over-exuberant puppy knocking down a kid. Staggering back to his feet, his head ringing slightly, he made another play for the knife only to have it flung past his head. He instinctively ducked as it flew past his ear and then pivoted to see the handle vibrating slightly. All four of his knives were embedded in one tree, only inches apart. The squid-monster had fabulous aim, better than the two humans it was fighting.

"Ah, Dean," Sam shouted, chewing worriedly at his lip. "I've run out of knives."

The squid chose that moment to swing one tentacle around faster than Sam could follow and lasso his middle. Sam pulled at the rubbery flesh, but it only squeezed tighter in response, making him fear for the safety of his ribs. It took him a few seconds to realise that he was being slowly raised off the ground and pulled closer to the body of the creature. A mouth split across the previously smooth flesh and started to gape ominously open, rows of razor-sharp teeth indicating that this squid was no herbivore. Then the back of the squid's mouth started to open, revealing a second row of teeth and Dean just the other side of it.

"Dean! Just stab it already!"

He wasn't proud of the panic in his voice, but the very real possibility of getting eaten did that to a guy. A wave of fetid fishy breath washed over him as the squid angled him horizontally to fit in its mouth. Even so, Sam wasn't sure how all 6 foot 4 of him was actually going to fit in its mouth and body, particularly if it was trying to eat Dean at the same time. Of course, if it started chomping him into sections, that wouldn't be such an issue.

"Come on, come on, just a little closer." Dean grunted and Sam saw the small knife that was still in Dean's hand.

The squid pulled them both another foot forward and Dean lunged, the top of his body out of Sam's sight. A scream erupted from the creature as its tentacles went limp, dropping Sam's body the four feet to the ground. He looked up, trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him, to see that the squid was starting to lean dangerously in his direction. Four seconds later he'd rolled away as fast as he could, but he'd still only just made it out of the squish and splatter zone. Dean was lying on top of the corpse, having ridden it to the ground.

"So, calamari?" Dean said with a smirk, crawling to his feet. He slipped slightly in the limp blubber but managed to keep his balance. Somehow he'd managed to get through the entire thing with only a bit of blood on his shirt to show for it.

Sam lay on the ground, waiting until Dean made his way over to him and offered a hand. A bit of downward pressure toppled Dean over onto one of the grosser sections of the ground. Once Sam was satisfied that Dean was now covered in more goo than he was, he got up, grinding Dean's face into the ground one final time, and went to retrieve all his knives.

"So not nice, Sam."

Sam looked back and grinned as Dean spat out some of the goo and tried to rub his face cleaner – an impossible task with his hands just as goo covered. His phone rang as he made it to his knees and he pulled it out of his pocket, grimacing slightly.

"Hello?… Oh, hey, Bobby… Yeah, yeah, no problems. It's calamari." He grinned goofily at Sam. "Okay, where?… Uh huh, yep, got that. We'll meet you there." He snapped the phone shut. "Demonic omens in Arkansas." With a slip and a slide he was on his feet and walking.

Sam pulled the final knife out of the tree and dumped them in the bag that they'd left beside it. Within a few steps he was walking beside Dean, who was sniffing the air rather theatrically.

"We stink."

"There's a lake quarter of a mile that way." Sam indicated the direction with his head.

Dean showed his agreement with action, turning toward the lake. A few paces more and he abruptly stopped, one eyebrow raised in his patented 'I'm thinking hard' look.

"Hang on, wouldn't that be where the giant evil squid came from?"

"We don't stink that much," Sam agreed, turning back in the direction of the car.

One giant squid was plenty.


End file.
